Letters From War

I wanna...

I want to be a dancer. I think I always have. I love dancing in worship before the Lord, but this morning, I've had a real breakthrough. I was listening to Salvador's "Lord, I Come Before You" and absolutely jammin' my face off. No one else was here...just Yahweh and me. The whole time I was dancing, my mind was rolling with, "I'd love to be able to remember this dance and teach it to others to corporately praise!"

But, I'm also faced with a harsh reality--would I really ever be as fun, free and vulnerable in my dances with God if I'm in front of people? Or will I stick with my little sway side to side like I usually do? I've felt myself be released a bit during worship before (at Knee Drill and such) only to leave feeling like everyone was watching me and judging me. I remember in one of Danielle's classes on "Warfare Worship" we were talking about how it's kind of an "American thing". We're so used to the world watching and judging us, that we often experience a lack of freeedom in worship for fear that we are being judged. I agree...I'm a living testament of that.

I have a real passion when I'm dancing. I think that as far as worship goes, that's when I'm most connected with God and am blessing His Heart.

Father, grant me that freedom in front of all the saints. Give me the peace that says that it doesn't matter who is watching or judging, but says, "You are beautiful, my sister, my bride." Send Your Spirit to teach me how to dance with grace and vulnerability before Your Throne. AMEN.

posted by Jamie @ 10:53 AM